Posted by Joshua on February 17, 2003 5:58 PM|Permalink
Comments
My stomach hurts. I laughed really hard. I cried. It was a nice story. I like monkeys too. They make me giggle and pee. I hope that you have fun today. I love pizza.
this story is outragous! i am the proud owner of two spider monkeys and they do not act this way nor do they die. ever. I am so appalled at the ignorance of the writer of this and all of its readers. you all must die.
Why Hello there Joshua. i've always like that name. joshua. not josh. not joshie. joshua. now about all this monkey business. haha. get it? moooonkey business? pahaha. i crack myself up, really i do. i'm sitting here practically dying b/c of all this laughing. annyhoo! my name is keith. yeah. i know. not the best name. it suits me though. suits me just fine! i wish i had a name like joshua though. it's such a pretty name. i wish i had a pretty name. and a pretty face too if you wanna get technical. which i dont...so i'll just continue. i wish i had a monkey. even if all it did was die and stink up my room. but if you think about it... all guys rooms smell anyway. hmm.. strange happenings going on here. i am a jedi. did i ever tell you that joshua? i think you're so lovely, joshua. but anyway. back to my jedi-ness. hehe. i love it when boys go hehe. i want you to become a jedi too, joshua. then we can punch monkeys in the genitals together! wouldn't that just be so much fun! and then we could do other things too..some other kinds of monkey business. hehe. but no. i'm just kidding joshua. i remember this one time joshua. i was sitting home all by myself b/c everyone thinks that i'm a loser. anyway. i was all alone and i was watching tv, and this show came on mtv and it was all about this guy who was obcessed with star wars, and he wanted to be a jedi too! and he got all dressed up and went to this convention that was alllll about jedis. and they were all dressed up. it was like the coolest thing EVER joshua. wouldnt you like to do that? i sure would. we should go together joshua. but seriously. about these monkeys. thats not right that you want to freeze monkeys in your freezer, or set them on fire, and especially trying to clog up the toilet with them. thats just cruel. that poor toilet. how would you feel if you were stuffed with something dead and stinking in your mouth?!?! sure you have butts in your mouth too all the time. but thats not the point joshua. the point is that you should never have anything to do with monkeys. dont even look at them when you go to the zoo. because we all know you still go to the zoo joshua. it's ok. you can admit it joshua. i will understand. you wanna know why? because i am jedi keith joshua. i love monkeys. i love being a jedi too. it's great fun. do you like peanut butter? i sure do. it's so strange though. b/c the peanut butter tastes different in the jar then out of the jar. i'm sure of it. i've conducted highly sophisticated experiments with this. involving my pet crow. oops. mom told me not to talk about that anymore.. hmm.. she said the cops dont want that to come out into the public. i guess ma's going to go back to jail again. i dont know what i'll do. maybe i'll break her out b/c i'm jedi keith! but then i mgiht go to jail too..and then that would be sad b/c i wouldnt get to meet you one day joshua. i really want to meet you one day. i dont think you know who i am, but i know who you are joshua. i see you every day. well. sometimes more then one time in one day! then i'm very happy. i wish i could talk to you joshua. my joshua. but i dont think i'll ever be able to. unless you become a jedi. won't you become a jedi for me, joshua? oooh how i wish you would. and then we can break my ma out of jail b/c thats where she'll be going once the cops find out about that crow incident, which i'm not supposed to talk about anyway. but anyway joshua. i must go. i must watch all of the tapings of that wonderful show, Dawson's Creek, which i watch every week like a true fan would. i'm going to be so sad when it goes off the air. i really will be. will you cry with me joshua? ooh how i hope you will.
:tongue:
u r crazy, stupid, retarded, and gay. U r evil and inconsiderate. u r not funny. and i hope that a monkey comes and ties u up and chops your tiny pathetic cock off and then shuvs it in ur mouth and makes u chew it up. so anyway, i hope u have a great time living in ur sad, nasty, pathetic, lonely life. bye bye now!
P.S. maybe some day u can stop masturbating and have sex with REAL girls. (not that any gurls would have sex with a nasty pig like you.) besides. ur a gay bastard who has sex with his dad. bye!
the susan and gary are fake they dont even know you.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................p.s............................................
Posted by:
.......................................................................... |
August 20, 2003 3:43 AM
some monkeys are cute like spider monkeys, they're da bomb. But a lot of monkeys are very ugly like nasty evil gorillas. Snowmen are more evil though, they smell funny and talk to me. But not as much as Jim does. He's my friend that no1 else can see. He thinks I'm special -sigh- i love jim. Anyway um...who's joshua
Hi ho! Tis me...Keithers again! Oh how i've missed you Joshua! I still quite like that name, you know. Not Josh. Not Joshie. Joshua. So anyways...you have some pretty nasty people that read your page... it makes me sad to think some people are that inconsiderate... le sighers. I really didnt mena to turn out this way. I WANTED to like girls...it's just..i kept getting rejected and then you enter in the whole...height thing...or do you all refer to it as length? It doesnt matter...Nothing matters but you, Joshua. Well...you and Pop Tarts. And porno. That matters a lot. But only certain kinds of porno. The kinds where they're all dressed up in jedi suits and have looovely little man cups on. Teehehe. Oh Joshua. You're so bloody sexy. I can't wait til we can have our little children....and take them to the movies were I can sit on your lap because i can't see about the fat bald guy in front of me... and you can hold my hand and i'll drink from your sippie cup and it'll all just be so magical. ;) Doesn't it sound perfect? OHHH!!!! and the MONKEYS! We can't forget about them. This is how we MET you silly, silly, wicked boy. Oh more good news! Ma is up for paroll next year! I miss her dearly... You see, the CIA was monitoring my computer, and found out about the crows. HOpefully they're not watching me anymore... I dont want them seeing the bad things i do late at night when i'm depressed. Or lonely. Or missing my Joshua. Poor Mr. Tubbles. Heheh. Will you be my Mr. Tubbles? I'll be YOUR Mr. Stumpy! Oops...i'm not supposed to talk aout that either...hmm. Well you'll find out in good time. I must go to work though. The reels call. I must make some money so we can start our happy family at the movie theater. Ta for now baby boobles googly moogly snuggle wuggle. MWAH Smooches sweet angel
Monkeys have always been nice to me. I guess the only monkeys i've ever met lived in zoos. If i lived in a zoo i would probably not live with the monkeys. I hear they poop a lot. I'm not used to living among feces. But that's ok cuz i don't judge monkeys by their feces. You shouldn't either. You're just a monkey feces judger. That won't do at all.
Joshuaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!! Joooooooooooshua! Where arrrre you sweet angel? You haven't writtenfor a while. It makes me sad. So anyways. How have you been? Hmm? I've been peaaachy keen, thanks for askign. BUt oooh man. I had an interesting month. You see, i have this friend. His name's Mike. He's a cool dude. A bit older then me, in his 30's kinda, but thats cool too. He's very mature. I like that. Don't you Joshua? I most certainly do. And you see, the thing is, really and truly, he's not accepted. And i understand this too, seeing as I'm short...everywhere. And girls don't like me. It makes me sad. :( Even my mommy doesn't like me. She's out of jail by the way! Be happy for me Joshua. SOOOO anyways, back to "Mike". Mike lives far away, in CA or something. He's very wealthy, he has lots of things. And he's a SINGER. He is THE most incredible dancer, i mean holy cow, have you ever seen a betterdancer? Especially when he has his gloves on. Oh excuse me, glove. And he has nice socks. They're nice and white. So anyways. Yeah. He's not accepted. Just like me. Cuz i'm short everywhere. Oh wait! I'm repeating myself! hahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahhahahha sillly me. ;). So i dont know what to do. Tell me what to do Joshua. I really need some advice. But see, we have a good friendship. adn i dont want to believe the things that people are saying about him. But i mean, he told me not to believe them. He told me many things, but they all seem strange to me. Like the time we were out in the woods, he was looking at the trees and saying how pretty they are, and how he wanted to "climb them" or something like that. He said it reminded him of his friend Philip. I guess they "climb trees" together. I dont know. SO he started doing something strange, and i was wondering what he was doing. He took his pants off Joshua!! Why did he do that? I was scared, I'd never seen anything so....strange-looking before. I just don't understand. I mean everyone thinks the nose thing's weird....but my LORD! Have you seen the REST?!?! Anyways...where was I. Oh yes. Our relationship. Well i mean i'm a grown up boy. I can take care of myself. I think i know what i'm doing. But i mean i have done bad things with crows and monkeys and stuffed Elmo's before, but this is different. And yano the worst part? Mike always wants to play with my Elmo's too....But poor Elmo's just three....and i dont think he wants to see that kind of stuff yet. He likes to EAT bananas, not....YOU know..Oh God. So what should I do? Should i just go along with it? And wear his little masks and play Hide and Go Seek? Or what...OH Lord I"m gettin all hot...hmm...i dont know why. I must go Joshua. The police are here...they say i need to take the thinger out of me. Whatever that means? Sigh. Not jail again...please. Where's my Joshua? come save me Joshua. I lvoe you desperately. FOrever yours, JEDIKEITH. And if you ever want to contact me, you may write me a lovely email....my address is jedikeith345@yahoo.com
Comments
My stomach hurts. I laughed really hard. I cried. It was a nice story. I like monkeys too. They make me giggle and pee. I hope that you have fun today. I love pizza.
Yours forever,
Sethias
Posted by: Seth | February 17, 2003 11:49 PM
this story is outragous! i am the proud owner of two spider monkeys and they do not act this way nor do they die. ever. I am so appalled at the ignorance of the writer of this and all of its readers. you all must die.
Posted by: Calvin Johnson | March 4, 2003 10:57 PM
Why Hello there Joshua. i've always like that name. joshua. not josh. not joshie. joshua. now about all this monkey business. haha. get it? moooonkey business? pahaha. i crack myself up, really i do. i'm sitting here practically dying b/c of all this laughing. annyhoo! my name is keith. yeah. i know. not the best name. it suits me though. suits me just fine! i wish i had a name like joshua though. it's such a pretty name. i wish i had a pretty name. and a pretty face too if you wanna get technical. which i dont...so i'll just continue. i wish i had a monkey. even if all it did was die and stink up my room. but if you think about it... all guys rooms smell anyway. hmm.. strange happenings going on here. i am a jedi. did i ever tell you that joshua? i think you're so lovely, joshua. but anyway. back to my jedi-ness. hehe. i love it when boys go hehe. i want you to become a jedi too, joshua. then we can punch monkeys in the genitals together! wouldn't that just be so much fun! and then we could do other things too..some other kinds of monkey business. hehe. but no. i'm just kidding joshua. i remember this one time joshua. i was sitting home all by myself b/c everyone thinks that i'm a loser. anyway. i was all alone and i was watching tv, and this show came on mtv and it was all about this guy who was obcessed with star wars, and he wanted to be a jedi too! and he got all dressed up and went to this convention that was alllll about jedis. and they were all dressed up. it was like the coolest thing EVER joshua. wouldnt you like to do that? i sure would. we should go together joshua. but seriously. about these monkeys. thats not right that you want to freeze monkeys in your freezer, or set them on fire, and especially trying to clog up the toilet with them. thats just cruel. that poor toilet. how would you feel if you were stuffed with something dead and stinking in your mouth?!?! sure you have butts in your mouth too all the time. but thats not the point joshua. the point is that you should never have anything to do with monkeys. dont even look at them when you go to the zoo. because we all know you still go to the zoo joshua. it's ok. you can admit it joshua. i will understand. you wanna know why? because i am jedi keith joshua. i love monkeys. i love being a jedi too. it's great fun. do you like peanut butter? i sure do. it's so strange though. b/c the peanut butter tastes different in the jar then out of the jar. i'm sure of it. i've conducted highly sophisticated experiments with this. involving my pet crow. oops. mom told me not to talk about that anymore.. hmm.. she said the cops dont want that to come out into the public. i guess ma's going to go back to jail again. i dont know what i'll do. maybe i'll break her out b/c i'm jedi keith! but then i mgiht go to jail too..and then that would be sad b/c i wouldnt get to meet you one day joshua. i really want to meet you one day. i dont think you know who i am, but i know who you are joshua. i see you every day. well. sometimes more then one time in one day! then i'm very happy. i wish i could talk to you joshua. my joshua. but i dont think i'll ever be able to. unless you become a jedi. won't you become a jedi for me, joshua? oooh how i wish you would. and then we can break my ma out of jail b/c thats where she'll be going once the cops find out about that crow incident, which i'm not supposed to talk about anyway. but anyway joshua. i must go. i must watch all of the tapings of that wonderful show, Dawson's Creek, which i watch every week like a true fan would. i'm going to be so sad when it goes off the air. i really will be. will you cry with me joshua? ooh how i hope you will.
:tongue:
Posted by: Jedi Keith | April 25, 2003 4:12 PM
i am scared of all of you.
Posted by: scared | April 26, 2003 7:03 AM
I thought it was funny! I almost peed too!
Posted by: Becca | June 30, 2003 11:12 AM
I thought it was funny! I almost peed too!
Posted by: Becca | June 30, 2003 11:12 AM
I thought it was funny! I almost peed too!
Posted by: Becca | June 30, 2003 11:12 AM
I thought it was funny! I almost peed too!
Posted by: Becca | June 30, 2003 11:12 AM
FUNNIEST PASSAGE IN THE WORLD!
Posted by: BILL | August 13, 2003 4:49 PM
u r crazy, stupid, retarded, and gay. U r evil and inconsiderate. u r not funny. and i hope that a monkey comes and ties u up and chops your tiny pathetic cock off and then shuvs it in ur mouth and makes u chew it up. so anyway, i hope u have a great time living in ur sad, nasty, pathetic, lonely life. bye bye now!
P.S. maybe some day u can stop masturbating and have sex with REAL girls. (not that any gurls would have sex with a nasty pig like you.) besides. ur a gay bastard who has sex with his dad. bye!
Posted by: paula | August 14, 2003 1:18 PM
im a jedi to i relly like your story.
Posted by: joshua | August 20, 2003 1:12 AM
hi its me agin i quite the jedis its not my idea its my moms she made me go to the dark side.
Posted by: joshua | August 20, 2003 1:25 AM
HELP SAVE ME FROM THE DARKSIDE I WANTE TO GO BACK TO BEING A JEDI THE DARKSIDE HATES MONKEYS P.S. SAVE ME QUICKLY P.S.P.S. IM GOING CRAZY
Posted by: joshua | August 20, 2003 1:37 AM
Joshua, you are an idiot. You can't spell and should go to summer school.
P.S. The Darkside likes monkeys and is way better.
Posted by: susan | August 20, 2003 1:56 AM
MONKEYS SUCK!!!!!
YOU ALL SUCK!!!!!
THIS SITE SUCKS!!
I SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Gary | August 20, 2003 1:58 AM
the susan and gary are fake they dont even know you.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................p.s............................................
Posted by: joshua | August 20, 2003 2:10 AM
Joshua isn't very smart.
Posted by: alex | August 20, 2003 3:41 AM
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Posted by: .......................................................................... | August 20, 2003 3:43 AM
some monkeys are cute like spider monkeys, they're da bomb. But a lot of monkeys are very ugly like nasty evil gorillas. Snowmen are more evil though, they smell funny and talk to me. But not as much as Jim does. He's my friend that no1 else can see. He thinks I'm special -sigh- i love jim. Anyway um...who's joshua
Posted by: Lottie | September 4, 2003 11:05 AM
Hi ho! Tis me...Keithers again! Oh how i've missed you Joshua! I still quite like that name, you know. Not Josh. Not Joshie. Joshua. So anyways...you have some pretty nasty people that read your page... it makes me sad to think some people are that inconsiderate... le sighers. I really didnt mena to turn out this way. I WANTED to like girls...it's just..i kept getting rejected and then you enter in the whole...height thing...or do you all refer to it as length? It doesnt matter...Nothing matters but you, Joshua. Well...you and Pop Tarts. And porno. That matters a lot. But only certain kinds of porno. The kinds where they're all dressed up in jedi suits and have looovely little man cups on. Teehehe. Oh Joshua. You're so bloody sexy. I can't wait til we can have our little children....and take them to the movies were I can sit on your lap because i can't see about the fat bald guy in front of me... and you can hold my hand and i'll drink from your sippie cup and it'll all just be so magical. ;) Doesn't it sound perfect? OHHH!!!! and the MONKEYS! We can't forget about them. This is how we MET you silly, silly, wicked boy. Oh more good news! Ma is up for paroll next year! I miss her dearly... You see, the CIA was monitoring my computer, and found out about the crows. HOpefully they're not watching me anymore... I dont want them seeing the bad things i do late at night when i'm depressed. Or lonely. Or missing my Joshua. Poor Mr. Tubbles. Heheh. Will you be my Mr. Tubbles? I'll be YOUR Mr. Stumpy! Oops...i'm not supposed to talk aout that either...hmm. Well you'll find out in good time. I must go to work though. The reels call. I must make some money so we can start our happy family at the movie theater. Ta for now baby boobles googly moogly snuggle wuggle. MWAH Smooches sweet angel
Posted by: Jedi Keith | October 8, 2003 9:11 PM
Monkeys have always been nice to me. I guess the only monkeys i've ever met lived in zoos. If i lived in a zoo i would probably not live with the monkeys. I hear they poop a lot. I'm not used to living among feces. But that's ok cuz i don't judge monkeys by their feces. You shouldn't either. You're just a monkey feces judger. That won't do at all.
Posted by: brian | October 17, 2003 12:36 PM
Joshuaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!! Joooooooooooshua! Where arrrre you sweet angel? You haven't writtenfor a while. It makes me sad. So anyways. How have you been? Hmm? I've been peaaachy keen, thanks for askign. BUt oooh man. I had an interesting month. You see, i have this friend. His name's Mike. He's a cool dude. A bit older then me, in his 30's kinda, but thats cool too. He's very mature. I like that. Don't you Joshua? I most certainly do. And you see, the thing is, really and truly, he's not accepted. And i understand this too, seeing as I'm short...everywhere. And girls don't like me. It makes me sad. :( Even my mommy doesn't like me. She's out of jail by the way! Be happy for me Joshua. SOOOO anyways, back to "Mike". Mike lives far away, in CA or something. He's very wealthy, he has lots of things. And he's a SINGER. He is THE most incredible dancer, i mean holy cow, have you ever seen a betterdancer? Especially when he has his gloves on. Oh excuse me, glove. And he has nice socks. They're nice and white. So anyways. Yeah. He's not accepted. Just like me. Cuz i'm short everywhere. Oh wait! I'm repeating myself! hahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahhahahha sillly me. ;). So i dont know what to do. Tell me what to do Joshua. I really need some advice. But see, we have a good friendship. adn i dont want to believe the things that people are saying about him. But i mean, he told me not to believe them. He told me many things, but they all seem strange to me. Like the time we were out in the woods, he was looking at the trees and saying how pretty they are, and how he wanted to "climb them" or something like that. He said it reminded him of his friend Philip. I guess they "climb trees" together. I dont know. SO he started doing something strange, and i was wondering what he was doing. He took his pants off Joshua!! Why did he do that? I was scared, I'd never seen anything so....strange-looking before. I just don't understand. I mean everyone thinks the nose thing's weird....but my LORD! Have you seen the REST?!?! Anyways...where was I. Oh yes. Our relationship. Well i mean i'm a grown up boy. I can take care of myself. I think i know what i'm doing. But i mean i have done bad things with crows and monkeys and stuffed Elmo's before, but this is different. And yano the worst part? Mike always wants to play with my Elmo's too....But poor Elmo's just three....and i dont think he wants to see that kind of stuff yet. He likes to EAT bananas, not....YOU know..Oh God. So what should I do? Should i just go along with it? And wear his little masks and play Hide and Go Seek? Or what...OH Lord I"m gettin all hot...hmm...i dont know why. I must go Joshua. The police are here...they say i need to take the thinger out of me. Whatever that means? Sigh. Not jail again...please. Where's my Joshua? come save me Joshua. I lvoe you desperately. FOrever yours, JEDIKEITH. And if you ever want to contact me, you may write me a lovely email....my address is jedikeith345@yahoo.com
Posted by: Jedi Keith | December 4, 2003 4:34 PM
i like that little blurb thing!
it amusing.
all the people who complain can suck their fuzzy bum cocks.
Posted by: joshua clone | March 20, 2004 11:30 PM
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww
Posted by: Anonymous | March 24, 2004 11:31 AM
that story stinks
Posted by: Anonymous | March 24, 2004 11:33 AM
i like keith he rocks my socks
Posted by: Anonymous | April 11, 2004 11:18 PM