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January 31, 2005

Painfully great puns.

Apparently from some international pun contest... regardless of where they're from, I enjoyed them.

#1 -- A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The
stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion
allowed per passenger."

#2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and
says, "Dam!"

#3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in
the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't
have your kayak and heat it too.

#4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other
says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

#5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

#6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing
in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about
an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't
stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

#7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes
to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in
Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of
himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her
husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband
responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

#8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened
up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy
flower from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the
competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but
they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They
ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest
and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up
the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't
close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh
can prevent florist friars

January 27, 2005

Last night I had a dream.

I dreamed I was playing on the New England Patriots and the Superbowl was coming up in a couple of weeks. I was told by a friend that this sounds like a typical guy dream but I must admit in all my years of living and dreaming, I've never had the professional sports player dream. Anyway, in the dream, it's about 10 days away from the Big Game and I'm concerned that given my age and the fact that I'm on the thin side, that I may be a hinderance to the team. Aren't I considerate? I am debating when I should talk to Coach Belichick and discuss with him what my future with the Pats will be next year and that I probably won't be playing on the field any more - and did he imagine and good roles for me that didn't involve putting on a jersey. Then Teddy Bruschi shows up for practice wearing his game jersey and I tell him that I think the official game shirts look pretty good and was surprised he got his already. I think then my phone rang and the dream ended.

January 14, 2005

Darth Tator!

02337 Front Out Sm-1

I love the New Mr. Potato head... Darth Tator. I must have one!

January 11, 2005

Apple's Mac Mini


Mac Mini. Wow.


January 7, 2005

Apple's iHome?

It looks amazing. Not even sure what it does but I want one. Yes, I am drinking the Apple kool-ade.